my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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