yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
