Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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