Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.