Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.