She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.