Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
