Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
