Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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