Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
