please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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