Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
