I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
