do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
