There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
