had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
