hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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