i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My vagina is officially offended.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
