is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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