Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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