This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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