Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
