it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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