out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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