You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
