sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
