I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
