After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
