P.S. I can't hear my feet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
