This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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