hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He passed out mid-signature
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
