He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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