Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
