I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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