Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
