walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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