I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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