you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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