some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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