im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
COCAINE IS GR8
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
