my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
