awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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