Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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