I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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