Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
