im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
