her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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