I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
