my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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