I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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