ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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