I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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