Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
