So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
