If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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