What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
