He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
