I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
