We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
