did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
