You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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