I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
