We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
